Monday, March 31, 2014

Horoscopes from New Moon March 30 to First Quarter April 7

ARIES (Mar 21-April 19):  A change of direction is needed at this time Aries. Either that, or heavy moving equipment so that we can keep going through the wall we’ve reached. Stars say back up or back hoe, the choice is ours.  

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth, said Ludwig Börne. Stars say it’s a great week to rid ourselves of confusion Taurus. To make it easier tell ourselves there’s profit in it; just remember that there are some things we can’t sell on eBay.  

GEMINI (May 21-June 20):   Never place friendship above profit, say the Ferengi, Star-Trek’s race of über-capitalist aliens. Whether partnered or single, we feel like we’re speed dating this week Gem. Just keep saying, “next offer,” until we’re back where we started, and no one can say we’re fickle, exactly.  
CANCER (June 21-July 22): “After the laws of physics,” notes astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson, “everything else is opinion.” Stars say it’s a good week to be less opinionated and more observant Cancer. Especially of things like stop signs and speed limits. 

LEO (July 23-Aug 22): Stars say avoid butting heads with stubborn individuals this week Leo. Actually, avoiding butting heads with soft, flexible individuals is wise too because really, that head banging thing only works out well for goats.  

VIRGO (Aug 23-Sept 22):  Don’t argue with loved ones about money this week Virgo. Don’t argue with people you merely like about money either. Arguing with those you dislike about money, eh, that might be okay. Non-productive, but okay. 

LIBRA (Sept 23-Oct 22):  A partner either digs in their heels or suddenly changes direction this week Libra. It’s possible they’ll both dig in their heels and try to suddenly change directions at the same time, in which case they’ll fall down. Try not to laugh.     

SCORPIO (Oct 23-Nov 21): Stars say don’t argue with appliance repairmen this week Scorp. Don’t argue with appliances either. Remember what happened the last time we yelled at our dishwasher? That’s right, he didn’t speak to us for a week.   

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22-Dec 21): Children are especially stubborn and need a lot of attention this week Sadge. So take a deep breath, have patience, and cough up extra cash for the sitter.    

CAPRICORN (Dec 22-Jan 19): The Greek philosopher Diogenes lived on the streets of Athens and wore rags. A well to do citizen accused him of intentionally living no better than a dog. Upon which Diogenes lifted his ratty robe and peed on the fellow. When tempted to be either judgemental or philosophical this week Cappy, make like a philosopher.  

AQUARIUS (Jan 20-Feb 18): Someone asked Saint Augustine that if God created time, where was God before time began? Augustine replied that God created hell for people who ask questions like that. Questioning other’s philosophy, religion, and politics can have long term consequences this week Aquarius. Not that that will stop us.

PISCES (Feb 19-March 20):  Our spending habits are questioned this week Pisces. We had to know that listing “mini-fridge for the beer,” as a home office deduction would raise a few eyebrows. 

April Astrology, Eclipse and Grand Cross

We're on the cusp of April and folks, prick your ears because it's going to be an "interesting" month. Lots of ups and downs and instability, with high likelihood of "breakdowns or breakthroughs," especially from the April 15th Lunar Eclipse to the April 29th Solar Eclipse. April 21st-22nd is another peak of this pattern, so for the last half of April, hold the rein free, have a good seat, and be ready for sudden spins or unexpected dismounts. Wear our helmets! (Literally and metaphorically). Whoa boy.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Horoscopes from Sunday 3-23 to Sunday 3-30

The cutting and pasting didn't work (must be because Mars, ruler of scissors, is retrograde--or wasn't I supposed to use scissors?), so, on my website: Trish Marie Astrology

Friday, March 21, 2014

Friday March 21 Equine Astrology Tip of the Day

Equine Astrology Tip of the Day for Friday, March 21: The line between imagination and reality is easily blurred this evening. We could afix unicorn horns to our horses and go for a ride in the moonlight. My neighbor can see my back pasture from her window ... if I could figure out how to give my gray Arabian gelding a unicorn horn that he wouldn't knock off, it'd be tempting to do so after dark, making sure to remove it before dawn ...very tempting indeed. 

Monday, March 17, 2014

St.Patrick's Day astrology

Equine Astrology Tip of the Day for St.Patrick's Day: Stars say there's a likelihood of surprising turns of events this eve (6-11 pm EDT). Don't celebrate St. Paddy's Day too ambitiously or we may encounter a Pooka. The most feared of all Irish Faeries, the Pooka usually appears in the form of a dark, sleek horse with flowing mane and glowing eyes. They are most frequently seen when we are making our way home from the pub
late at night. Like all Irishmen, Pookas possess the gift of gab, but beware the offer of a ride home: the Pooka delights in having a wee bit of fun with their rider, galloping breakneck up rocky hillsides, making death defying leaps, running through barnyards knocking over everything they see. After all this the Pooka doesn't even take you home, but deposits their rider in a ditch or a barrel. This is how so many Irishmen are discovered in ditches and barrels after a night of celebrating--the Pooka put them there!
     If we do end up riding a Pooka in tomorrow's wee hours, don't worry--no human has actually been harmed by the Pooka and indeed, if you show courage and the Pooka likes you, they may leave you with a prophecy about your life as a parting gift.

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Malaysia Airlines, Mars, and the star of widowhood

Many astrologers are looking at the astrology of the ill-fated Malaysian airlines flight, and it's looking like there's as much mystery in the plane's astrology as in the disappearance itself. What I can say is that Mars, currently moving retrograde will turn around on May 19th aligned with Vindemiatrix, the ancient star of widowhood. This may have nothing to do with the Malaysia Air disaster, but Mars is a potent planet, and Vindemiatrix is an interesting star. Long considered a "widowmaker," when prominent--and especially of widows or widowers made due to deaths that are connected with disasters or high drama of some sort, it aligns with the Sun of actress Kate Winslett who became famous for her role as Rose in the movie "Titanic." Rose's lover Jack ( Leonardo DiCaprio) sacrifices himself for her at the end of the movie--Winslett becomes the perfect channel for Vindemiatrix to express itself harmlessly through fiction in the film.

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Horoscopes from March 1 New Moon to March 16 Full Moon

ARIES (Mar 21-April 19): Our life seems to be stuck in reverse right now Aries. We may as well take advantage of the backwards momentum and encourage reversals ourselves; write Hershey’s and tell them to go back to the foil wrapped Hershey bar. Unwrapping one used to be like opening a present, and now it’s like any other candy bar.

 TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “You are what you eat,” has never been truer than right now, especially for you Taurus. Eating a good, wholesome diet is recommended because no one wants to be disodium guanylate.

 GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “Latinum lasts longer than lust,” say the Ferengi, Star-Trek’s race of über-capitalist aliens. The financial potential of a partner stirs passion Gem. Only we can decide if their habit of clipping coupons while sitting in the bathroom is a good thing or just, eww.

 CANCER (June 21-July 22): Stars say getting out of the house may be the best way to keep peace at home Cancer. What’re the odds the local sports bar is showing reruns of “The Waltons.” (That is what we were going to watch, right?)

 LEO (July 23-Aug 22): Bibliopedestrianism is the art of reading while walking. We should not practice this art at this time Leo. We may walk and chew gum at the same time--especially as this might keep us from talking, which is another activity currently discouraged.

 VIRGO (Aug 23-Sept 22): Money matters are stuck in reverse Virgo. The good news is we’ll probably not notice due to sudden changes in the direction of our love life. Stars advise patience and staying away from Las Vegas casinos and chapels.

 LIBRA (Sept 23-Oct 22): There’s an African proverb that says it is a mistake to flee from a roaring lion towards a crouching lion. Seems like it’d be easier to advise just avoiding lions all together. Stars say watch out for fangs and claws-especially our own.

 SCORPIO (Oct 23-Nov 21): “The Twilight Zone,” had many episodes involving people who’d escaped the need to encounter other people--and they never ended well for the protagonist. We can actually get away with being a bit of a hermit right now Scorpio. If we hear Rod Sterling’s voice in the background though, join up with a crowd as quickly as possible.

 SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22-Dec 21): Park Rangers at Mt. Zion National Park quip that all it takes to be a ranger there is knowing the answer to three questions: Where’s the restroom? How far is it to Las Vegas? What’s the fastest way out of here? A higher vision seems to be colliding with reality Sadge. Hey, it beats getting eaten by a bear.

 CAPRICORN (Dec 22-Jan 19): Stars say avoid fights with authority figures Cappy. If we’re unsure whether certain people are an “authority figure” in our life, go ahead and fight with them. If we lose, they are.

 AQUARIUS (Jan 20-Feb 18): John Stuart Mill once said of philosophical debates that both sides tended to be “in the right in what they affirmed, though in the wrong in what they denied.” We’d tell you the key to peace is keeping Mill’s words in mind, but it’s probably more like staying out of philosophical debates altogether Aquarius.

 PISCES (Feb 19-March 20): It’s been said that we save more money by saying “no” than by saying yes. It’s good advice for this period of time Pisces, but if we run into any Girl Scouts, forget astrology and just by the dang cookies.